Books I Want To Read, But Probably Never Will

by Ruby on November 16, 2011

Today we have another guest post from Zak, who works with the cashiers and at the Newsstand…

You know exactly what I’m talking about. Imagine this conversation:

ATTRACTIVE WOMAN/MAN YOU JUST MET:
So, reading anything good?

YOU:
Actually, yes. I just finished The Autobiography of Mark Twain, which I read in a week despite it being 760-pages. Now I’m halfway through Nixonland by Rick Perlstein. It’s so informative!

ATTRACTIVE MAN/WOMAN:
Sounds hot. Wanna head back to my place?

Sadly, this will never happen. You and I could build cathedrals out of the books we want to read but never actually will. We have our reasons:
–    too long
–    too boring
These are two classic excuses.

So here’s what I propose: I make a list, right here and now, of some books I want to read but probably won’t. Then, you read one (or all) of them, find me at Vroman’s (or comment on this post) and tell me what you think. Cool?

Let’s get it poppin’:

Infinite Jest1) Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace.
Judging by length alone, this looks like magnum opus material. My buddies even tell me it’s “awesome”. But why are there so many footnotes, and do I really have to read all of them? I need a second opinion.Steve Jobs

2) Steve Jobs by Walter Isaacson.
Maybe you’ve heard of this Jobs guy. Clearly pretty smart, did some innovative stuff. But for real, homeboy made computers. How interesting could his life be? Tell me after you’ve read the book.

Malcolm X3) Malcolm X: A Life of Reinvention by Manning Marable.
Malcolm is one of my idols, and his autobiography changed the way I see the world and myself. But can I sit with him through 608-pages? I haven’t tried, but you should read the book and tell me if I should.

War and peace4) Russian novels in general.
All I know is, they look long and not very funny. I know Russia is a big country, but 1,500-page novels? For real? If you read one and convince me you’re not lying about having read it, I’ll personally buy you one of our Ghirardelli’s Chocolate Squares (you choose the flavor) the next time you come into the store.*
*Offer only good at main Vroman’s location, 695 E. Colorado. Only good for first person to respond to this post.

That’s all for now.

Deuces.

- The Notorious Z.A.K.

{ 1 trackback }

5 DVDs You Might Not Know We Carry
02.29.12 at 5:21 pm

{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

AmberG 11.25.11 at 7:50 pm

Nice post Zak! I have to admit that there are a few books I would love to read but just don’t want to sit through. Like the new 1Q84 by Haruki Murakami. This book has been flying off the shelves but due to it’s new release and lengthy size, I haven’t heard any reviews on it yet! Customer need to read this and let me know because I think 944 pages is where I draw my line.

Rick Perlstein 11.27.11 at 7:29 pm

The “hot chick” thing never happens to me, and I wrote Nixonland! (yes, it’s really me, self-googling again…)

Zak 02.10.12 at 12:02 pm

Rick Perlstein!!! I just want you to know I’ve bought your book for multiple people as gifts (never having read it myself), and they all love it. My hat is off to you, sir. I’ll read it someday, I promise.

Leave a Comment

You can use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>