Please Note: Now that April Fools is done, I wanted to make sure everyone knows that this post is all in good fun, no offense meant at all. Thank you!
After the successful merger of Vroman’s Bookstore and West Hollywood’s Book Soup in late 2009, Vroman’s turned a questioning eye on other bookstores in the area. They soon discovered that while several local independents were doing just fine, some of the larger, ‘dependent’ stores were quickly failing in today’s economic climate.
“It came to our attention that while Barnes & Noble is squeezing by on sales from their dedicated e-reader, the Nook, Borders has been steadily sinking into oblivion,” said Vroman’s employee, Anne E. “We decided that some action needed to be taken in order to save this important cultural institution.”
In an unprecedented decision reputed to have been signed in the early hours of this morning, Vroman’s Bookstore purchased every operating location of Borders for a startlingly low six-figure sum, promising to make very few changes to the chain’s over 700 locations. “It will be just like it always was, only better!” said Nicole, a Vroman’s bookseller. “And I guess it will be independent, too.”
This is a historic partnership, the likes of which has not been seen yet in this country. Generally, in our free-market economy, it is larger conglomerates that purchase smaller, struggling competition, not the other way around. Vroman’s will be a pioneer in this field, the first to expand a local business model to a global scale in such a quick, cutthroat move. This will be especially challenging since Vroman’s maintains that their new brand, “Borders- Brought to you by Vroman’s Bookstore Since 2010,” will continue to operate as an independent, locally-owned business. Whether they succeed or fail will determine the path of indie bookstores for years to come.
No one from Vroman’s or Borders was available for comment; apparently, they are sleeping off this historic decision.